1 June 2025

In the eighties and early nineties, the central offices of the Church prepared a series of resources for adult Christian education. They went under the name ‘Frontline’. I used a few of these notably in  the training of elders and, in particular, preparation for ordination.

In looking at the qualities which need to be nurtured in the eldership, one stood out. It was loyalty – loyalty towards the minister and fellow elders in Kirk Session. This is vitally important when collective leadership is involved. No matter how we voted in any situation, we need to support the Kirk Session’s decision.

In the materials, it said, ‘Remember that your silence can be used as fuel by the discontented. ‘I just told my elder what I thought. He didn’t disagree with me.’’!  A very subtle point was being made here about the truth. What was true? What was not true?

Because the elder had remained silent, the member construed his silence as tacit agreement with her point of view. The elder may or may not have intended this. It is possible that he remained silent because he wanted her to think he sided with her. Or he may simply have been afraid to contradict her.

More importantly, what was the view of the Kirk Session? Was there a way of sharing the Kirk Session’s view honestly and straightforwardly? Our silence in the pastoral encounter can be a beneficial response. For example, in the  face of grief, our words should be few.

But our silence may be weaponised to undermine the work of minister and Kirk Session. Our anger at the outcome of a particular decision may leak  into a pastoral encounter and weave a tale  of untruths. In a world where the truth is constantly undermined, we need to be as  wise as serpents and as gentle as doves.