15 August 2025

There is concern about the birth rate. Young people are not having as many children as people had in the past. People are waiting until their career is established or their mortgage purchased before considering having a family. Children have vanished from a large number of kirk congregations.

Out of interest, I looked back at the statements on marriage in the three most recent editions of the ‘Book of Common Order’. The 1940 version, which was widely acclaimed, states that marriage was ordained for life-long companionship, the continuance of family life and the welfare of human society.

In the 1979 version, there are two orders for marriage. In both orders  there is a reference to children. They are described as ‘God’s gifts’ and in a marriage they enjoy ‘the security of love and the heritage of faith’.  Clearly, children are a constituent part of marriage.

In these orders another reason for marriage has appeared in addition to those in the 1940 version. After companionship and before the ordering of family life, it says, ‘It is appointed as the right and proper setting for the full expression of physical love between man and woman.’

One cannot help thinking that this is included in response to what became known as the ‘permissive society’ brought to birth in the sixties. It was lost to a wider society and only referenced to those who clearly agreed! But this leads on to the 1994 edition, ‘Common Order’.

There are three orders in this edition. Only the first has a reference to children. ‘Husband and wife share the life of a home and may be trusted with the gift and care of children.’ it says. Trusted by whom? God? Society? How is this trust regulated?

By 1994, two out of three orders for marriage made no reference to children and the family life which would ensue from their procreation. And the one which did seemed to remove the initiative from bride and groom! After thirty years, it is surely time for another official liturgy which puts children back into marriage and family life.