26 October 2025

You are busy downstairs. You remember that you wanted to get that book which was lying at the side of the bed. You run upstairs and when you reach the top, you suddenly wonder, ‘Why have I come upstairs?’ You have forgotten the purpose of your errand.

It is something which happens to everyone and probably as a result of inattention. We were concentrating on something else when this thought came into our head. We broke off to complete the task but were not concentrating on it or so it seems.

In their book, ‘Memory Lane’, Greene and Murphy talk about the benefits of forgetting. We tend to see it in negative terms and assume it is happening because our memory isn’t good or we are aging faster than we thought or, heaven forbid, we are entering the early stages of dementia.

It is their contention that we forget more than we remember and this is healthy. ‘Forgetting allows us to shed memories of mundane experiences.’ They call it mental decluttering and it happens without us knowing about it. In this way, we remember what is essential.

‘We tend to forget the negative aspects of our past more readily than the positive ..’ they say. And this has a very positive outcome for our well-being. It generally makes people happier. Remembering negative experiences leads to obsession, revenge, violence even. It’s good to forget slights and insensitivities.

They conclude, 'We are constantly forgetting things – indeed some would argue  that remembering is the exception rather than the rule. We cannot retain everything, so we selectively retain most of what matters; and this plays an important role in making us who we are.’